UTAH, April 1, 2024 (Gephardt Daily) — Happy April Fools Day to Utah, and welcome to highly unexpected “news” reported by various officials.
In honor of this annual fibber’s holiday, the Utah Department of Wildlife Resources released a video claiming it can officially confirm the “scaly presence” of the Bear Lake Monster,” first reported by observers in the 1860s.
Officials say they have confirmed the beast’s modern existence by baiting a portion of the lake with a raspberry shake on a 90-square-foot net.
Yep, photo or it didn’t happen, friends. But to see the verbal explanation on video, click here.
Bryce National Park
“They’re back!,” Zion National Park officials say, sharing a photos of unlikely pack animals.
“After years of selective breeding and dozens of mauled handlers, life has found a way. The Utah Giant Prairie Dog lives… and rides begin today! Visitors often wonder whether the many rock tunnels on Bryce Canyon’s trails are natural or manmade. Few realize that the park’s entire trail network is actually a remnant of these burrowing megafauna. How will they feel about sharing their ancient routes with modern visitors? We have no idea!
“Alas, while Giant Prairie Dogs can’t be ridden (a side-effect of not existing), today does mark the start of wrangler-led rides and private horse ride reservations in the park. It’s a much safer time with a much smaller saddle. Canter over to go.nps.gov/BryceHorse to learn more. And join us for the real Utah Prairie Dog Day on May 9! go.nps.gov/UtahPrairieDogDay.
New at Arches
Arches National Park officials are announcing the April 1 arrival of a new arch topping all the previous natural structures.
“Arches National Park is pleased to announce that we have welcomed a new arch to our collection of over 2,000 arches – the National Park Service’s largest arch!” a sketchy social media post says.
“Gateway Arch will now surpass Landscape Arch (306 feet wide) and Double Arch (112 feet tall) as the longest and tallest arch in our park at 630 feet wide and tall. It is only right that Gateway Arch now resides with another equally famous arch, Delicate Arch! We are excited to join forces with Gateway Arch National Park.
“In other news… today is April Fool’s Day.”
Vintage Zion visitors
And Zion National Park on Monday shared highly photoshopped images of the 1947 “Zion Incident,” which it says are newly declassified.
The April Fools Day day post says it was “a type of extraterrestrial event. The reported U.F.O. hovered and landed near the Great Arch of Zion where” the park superintendent “welcomed the foreign visitors to Earth and to Zion and offered the NON-HUMAN life forms their $80 America the Beautiful Annual Pass.
“Top Secret efforts to hide the Non-human life forms’ U.F.O. began immediately by constructing a secret tunnel entrance into the cliff walls near the Great Arch. The public is to know this opening as a window of the Zion-Mt. Carmel Tunnel.”
Then the park admits its holiday ruse.
“While Zion National Park does not actually have secret alien tunnels, we do have our Zion-Mt. Carmel Tunnel that connects visitors from the main Zion Canyon to the East Side of the park. You can also purchase your own $80 American the Beautiful Annual Pass and other Park Entrance passes at any park entrance gate when you enter the park!”
Springville PD recruit
And Springville Police officials would like to share their alternative to a K-9 officer. Meet Neville Furbottom, and Professor Rum Tum Tugger the third. Officer Furbottom “comes to us from Switzerland — guten tag! He has been assigned as a narcotics and apprehension feline and his handler was chosen to be Corporal Johnson!
“Professor Rum Tum Tugger was recently released from a lengthy prison sentence, and has been assigned to our new gang unit! His handler is Detective Wilding, and we are really excited to see what they can achieve together!”
